Is Your Husband Your Best Friend?

So, think about this: Can your husband really be your best friend? I was chatting with a former student  the other day, and she is engaged to be married to Eric, her “best friend/boyfriend.” What! Marrying your best friend?!! What’s up with that? So, what did I do? I called MY best friend, of course. We decided that a husband can be a very good friend, but not really THE best friend. Let me explain…

Husbands are there 24-7. That’s enough to drive anyone cray cray. If your husband happens to be your best friend, and he’s the problem, who do you call?  And if YOU happen to be the problem, your best friend will tell you. My husband is my husband.  His job is simple: love me, support me, and adore me, 24/7. 

On the other hand, best friends are best friends because they are not together 24/7. They live their lives independently yet remain intertwined with one another.  It’s not intentional–it just happens. You call when you can. You have vacation time–you think of visiting them. As a matter of fact, a perk of working here is watching best friends disagree and agree all in the same breath. I love it. And have you ever noticed that best friends are never officially invited to anything: weddings, college graduations, or even funerals– but you can bet your last dollar that they are going to be there.  Best friends are best friends, period. They have withstood the test of time. That relationship cannot be duplicated. 

However, I still didn’t understand why I felt so strongly about the power of best friends, but a little bit of self-reflection, and boom, there it was.  I got it from my mama. I recall listening to her talk to her best friend on the phone. I still remember her name. It was Gloria. Gloria lived miles away, and of course, this was pre-Facetime and Zoom, so this was as good as it got.  My mom would talk about something as mundane as the hot Texas weather and vent about something stupid my dad did or said. You know, normal stuff. Oh my goodness, I now know that this was a form of true love as those good feelings lasted long after the phone call. Seeing her so happy just warmed my heart. I started looking forward to Gloria’s phone calls as much as my mother did!

So, the bottom line for me is a husband cannot be one’s best friend. Good friend, yes. Best friend, no. Best friends “get it ” when we cop an attitude–even if it’s with them. 

Am I off base? Right on point? Either way, let me know what you think–just hit reply at the bottom of the page.

In the meantime, I am going to have my husband take me out to dinner and call my best friend if he doesn’t……….

~ Stacey